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Sun Solar 2016-12-23 14:44:49

BREAKING NEWS!

SANTA’S SLEIGH DELAYED BY SMOG!

 

Santa’s got a big job. His workload trumps everyone else’s. I mean, who else could visit every household on the planet in one night?! But Santa’s got a big obstruction in his way this year: Air pollution.

He’s got to travel through so much smog that he’s had to take extreme measures just to cope with it. He couldn’t find an air purifier big enough to protect him during his journey, so he’s added a respirator to his wardrobe, specifically for his commute through some of the world’s most polluted cities: Zabol, Gwalior, Allahabad, Beijing and Riyadh.

This is tragic, because Santa won’t be able to withstand that pollution any better than the rest of us-even if he is magical. Talk about needing a Christmas miracle!

And what about Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph?! They, too, have had to start wearing respirators that obstruct their vision and make it hard to enjoy the one night a year that they get to leave the North Pole. This will make it more difficult for them to make precise landings, and there’s a huge probability that this could potentially cause a massive gift mix-up!

Santa’s team back at NP headquarters predicts that nearly 140,000 households could get the wrong presents this year because of these wardrobe modifications.

“These critical changes had to be made immediately and left us no time for adjustments. This is a crisis that affects all of us, not just those on the Nice List,” says Santa’s head elf, Alabaster Snowball.

So, help spread the word! Solar energy is a solution to this monstrous problem. Not only do they make fabulous runways for Santa and his reindeer (more on that here), but they will surely help prevent such atrocities from happening next year.

Save Christmas! Go Solar!

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